Would you get DF'ed or not? I guess that is a roll of the dice depending on the temperment of the BOE (or even the comittee) where you return. It is clear to me that god is not driving consistency or quality assurance there. If you go back to a "hang 'em high" type of congregation then you can draw your own conclusions. I have known other congregations that were fairly liberal on forgiving transgressions while people were away. They took the "we are not the spiritual police" attitude that you are responsible for your own actions.
I do feel for your situation. Being a JW colors your view in many ways. I think a lack of self worth can be a common symptom. I tend to internalize my anger. It has left me very cold toward the JW faith. I've done a small amount of therapy which has helped. I definitely think talking it over would be best for you.
You have a huge decision before you with respect to your children. Being raised as a JW made me even more introverted and ashamed of how I had to live (particularly in school). No amount of coaching at the KH changed that.
I think many JWs get something positive out of the faith. But that element of fear (not that godly fear they talk about either) is too much for me. It's just a substitute hellfire. Obey or die.
I think the newbie JW that commented earlier (Queenie?) on why you should return didn't have much to back it up except for insinuations of that fear -- as in: You know its right so get off your duff and go do it! That isn't really an argument. Its more of the "rah rah", cheerleader, high-pressure sales pitches that turn me off ANYWHERE I see them (JWs, MLMs like Amway, Noni Juice, etc...)
I hope the best for you regardless of what you choose.